It is time to face some realities about weddings – it is time to realise that weddings have become more about ‘social show-business’ and less about ‘the union of two souls.’
It is a norm in India to invite even the most distant relatives to your wedding. Why? Because we must have a good number of people from ‘our side’ in the wedding, if we don’t then it will be a reason for humiliation. Also, we must make a good show of wealth and feed hundreds of people when millions do not find even one piece of bread to eat. We must make sure that the weddings are ‘sho-sha’ even if we get bankrupt in the process of proving to the society-that-has-never-been-there that ‘we are something’. Face it.
Today, weddings are no longer about a pure celebration with the near and dear ones. It is no longer about the union of two souls but about ‘who is wearing the latest lehenga’, ‘who has the most expensive car’ and ‘who has the most delicious food menu’. Oh please. Give yourself a break.
There are hundreds of parents who go bankrupt or take huge amounts of loans to get their daughters married in a ‘proper way’ and even to give dowry in this 21st century. After the wedding, the same relatives who ate food for three people will vanish into their deep ‘hidden nests’ and will never show their faces unless it is to invite you to their own function of some kind.
Why? Why are we doing this?
‘Marriage’ is about the union of two consenting adults who understand the meaning of a relationship and in some cases, a ceremony with Sanskrit shlokas that many people do not understand is added to it. That is it. The real ceremony of marriage lasts barely an hour, the things that happen other than that are completely avoidable.
Think about something. It is okay to throw a party for your friends. What is not okay is to make this about ‘status’ and ‘wealth’.
If you really want to spend for your son or daughter, invest the money you are going to spend on their wedding, in a fixed deposit or a mutual fund and gift it to them. Or book them a beautiful trip where they could get to know each other better. And for those who believe in doing noble deeds, feed 200 homeless people than feeding those who are there only till the glitter lasts.
While this might be difficult for most to digest, this is the harsh reality of our society.
Weddings are special to most. It is okay to invite people to be a part of your good times. But make sure that the wedding still remains about ‘you’ and ‘yours’ than about ‘how rich the groom’s or bride’s family is’ and ‘how many different cuisines were there in the reception’ or about ‘who gave the thickest cover as gift’.
Think about it.
The world is getting expensive to live in day after day. There are scores of people who are killing themselves because they are overburdened by loans. So many Indians cannot afford to send their children to school, they cannot even afford two meals a day! Think about your future if you cannot think about the present of these people. Re-assess. Why exactly you want a ‘royal’ wedding?
Will your wealth remain the way it is? Do you have enough for a serious medical emergency? Do you have enough to buy a house for yourself? Do you really need to invite the people who didn’t stand by you in your bad times? Do you really need to make a show of your status? And most importantly, do you have enough to fulfill all your dreams? Lots of questions to ponder on.
Think and think hard before you plan a typical ‘big fat Greek (read Indian) wedding’. We don’t need to follow the herd. We are humans. With a brain.