Even before one reaches the marriageable age (no one knows that that term really means), ideas crop up in the minds of people about what kind of partner they want. There is also a crazy check-list!
Turn 23 and you become the subject of almost every conversation that revolves around marriage – with out without your consent. While there are a handful of people who want to get married when they feel it is the right time, most of the others start making a check-list of what they want in their partners.
In this article we are going to talk about only those who make vile and fancy demands thinking that marriage is a profit-making investment instead of looking at it as a union of two souls.
1. My wife-to-be has to be slightly shorter than me – not taller – not very short!
Sometimes I wonder if they go on a ‘arranged date’ with a measure tape to see how tall the girl is. Height is such a huge issue. For most men, having a woman who is taller than them is an ‘ego issue’. Women have to shorter!
What it should be : One should be able to choose a life partner for how compatible they are with one another, not by how good they will look on a stage, smiling for the evergreen camera on their weddings!
2. My wife-to-be has to be fair, she has to be good-looking.
Another, hocus-pocus. Many potential bridegrooms want good-looking women. Why? Because they want to produce good-looking babies.
What it should be : Heard of the concept of inner beauty? Your wife is not your trophy to showcase. A woman who is only beautiful on the outside and not on the inside, will make your life hell.
3. My wife-to-be has to know how to cook a number of cuisines.
Mamma’s boy alert! This is an extremely common ‘trait’ that men want. Do you want a wife or a cook? If you are a foodie, please grow up and learn to cook for yourself. Seriously, do a reality check.
What it should be: Get ride of the stereotypical mentality. There are no gender roles. Cooking is a survival habit – don’t learn it only if you want to die of starvation.
1. My husband-to-be has to be rich and preferably, an NRI.
So what happened to all the feminism here? There are scores of women out there who are hunting for a husband and the first thing they look at it is his annual income. What did you get a degree for, woman? To spend the money of the man who tie the knot with?
What it should be : Learn to be financially independent. Do you want a husband who cares for you or someone who will give you money and forget about you like you don’t exist? Your parents spent on your education, use it. And if you want to go abroad, go on your own capability.
2. My husband-to-be has to be tall, dark and handsome.
If there is one thing that fairy tales ruined for women then it was the image of a perfect man. No one is perfect. And there is no definition of beauty. Your husband is your life partner. It is important that he understands you, not important that he looks like SRK!
What it should be : Look for the qualities like trustworthiness or dependability in a man. During the downs of your life, those are what will get your through. His appearance will be of no value! Heard of something called time and age?
3. My husband-to-be should not talk to any other woman but me.
That is so immatured. If you are as immature as this, please don’t get married. Possessiveness won’t get you anywhere. We live in a world where interaction with the opposite gender is completely unavoidable. Your husabdn married you – not the woman you are getting jealous of.
What it should be : Look for loyalty. That is okay. But if you don’t trust the man enough that you don’t let him talk to any other woman, those are your issues of insecurity, not his!
There is one shared thing which both men and women want in a relationship – their to-be-spouse has to be a virgin.
Many choose to ask this question in the very first meeting. Wow, seriously, you need to understand that everyone has a history. Nobody was born yesterday. And having sex, is not a crime. Having sex out of marriage, is not a crime either. You aren’t shopping for flowers or food that you want something that is ‘fresh’. When people get married, they have lived atleast 30% of their lives! Sometimes, we really need to respect the choices others make, before judging them.